114.6 lbs :)

yesss

I was like “what?” And he says “you look like you’ve gained a few pounds from a couple months ago”

I got up and threw away the ready of my breakfast. This is the second comment this week and I’ve lost 5 lbs since last month. Fuck you.

Omg now like 40 min later he just asked the class if anyone skipped eating all day or fasted (we’re studying the lymphatic system). This is beyond ridiculous.

EDIT: now he just said that he was referencing to Jason my brother, when he said that. Either he’s lying or my mind is twisting things that I hear….ugh.

On another note, I’ve been awake an hour and a half and already drank 2 liters of water. That’s what happens when you binge/purge 4 times the day before. Damn I didn’t even realize I did that til I thought about it just now. NO MORE.

EDIT II: NOW WE ARE TALKING ABOUT VOMITING. WHAT IS GOING ON.

He usually doesnt go into the kids bathroom, shit! He hasn’t said anything yet.

I’ve had a GREAT day even though I binged twice…

jogged and biked (in saran wrap), it was very little, but I’m not in shape and i smoke.

But it was something!

See, I usually binge when I’m high, but I love smoking so much. I also get very positive when I’m high, so I decided to try and convert my energy into working out!

AND I APPLIED TO 5 RESTAURANTS.

AAANNNDDDD I GOT MY DIET PILLS IN!!!!

productive day and it’s barely 2 pm!

In order to embarrass myself so I can re-think my actions next time, I had:

• 4 soft tacos

• 2/3 box of vanilla oreos

• a pint of ice cream

(purged) Then…

• 2 links of boudin

• 5 cookies

• 2 slices of toast

(purged)

I am a disgusting human being.

Then I woke up, ate a bowl of lucky charms then attempted to purge. My throat is so raw and I’ve been coughing up bloody mucus on&off for the past month.

So 1 laxative (just one) and water for me now.

Can’t wait til my diet pills get in. CANT WAIT. ugh. then i can stop being a blob.

115 exactly still. Plateauing already, so maybe I should up my intake a little today.

I’ve never taken two. They’re light pills, they don’t knock you out, just relax you and once you’re asleep you sleep for awhile.

But to keep me from binging, I just took two.

I will not binge.

Nope.

B: 1 slice of bread (50) mustard (0) turkey meat (30) cheese (25)- 105

L: Special k (110) almond milk (30)- 140

S: Bread (50) mustard (0) turkey meat (30)- 80

D: Beefaroni- 220

Total: 545

I never hit my bottom.

I still have this love/hate relationship with my eating disorder…

I cut last night for the first time in a month or two.

I missed my ex-fiance, who I thought I was over…

I cried, and I NEVER cry. My antidepressants make it very difficult for me to cry.

I cried.